How to Deal with Chronic Illness

I’m not an expert by any means. I’ve been dealing with stuff for only 4 months now. But I did speak to a therapist throughout (an online therapist, which was perfect for my situation. Check out BetterHelp.com) and she gave me a lot to think about.

My biggest problem was/is that I’ve always had a list of goals to achieve . Suddenly I couldn’t accomplish anything, and couldn’t do my job well. My therapist’s response was that I couldn’t control being sick and how I felt, but I could change my goals so that I didn’t beat myself up about not being able to meet my old goals. That I needed to find out who I was at my core and align these new goals with that, so I’m still being true to myself but in a new way.

That’s a lot harder than I thought. My brain was so trained to think a certain way, expect certain things out of myself. I’m still struggling with it. I’d planned out my week, managed to do so many things yesterday and set so many goals for myself. But then I clearly over did it and slept all day today. It’s not about being lazy, I want to do these things, but I hit a point and can’t keep my eyes open and just fall asleep…. for five hours.

But this time I’m not giving up. I take the time I need to sleep, but I’ve got these adjusted goals, and they are ones I think I can keep. So I’m going to try.

For instance, part of the goal adjustment is not working full time. Clearly, I’ve gotten fired and wasn’t doing my job to the best of my (previous) ability. And clearly some days I’m going to fall asleep for five hours despite sleeping nine hours the night before. Therefore, I’m not a reliable worker. It’s been hard for me to face that. But I just remind myself of who I am at my core, and I’m still a great person even though I’m not capable of everything I once was. So instead of trying to find a new full time job, I’m going to try to find part time work from home until I feel back to the point of a full time job.

Adjusting.

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